JOIN US ONLINE for a special scheduled class offering*
Neufeld Intensive I: Making Sense of Kids
this course begins September 26, 2025
Fridays 12:30PM - 01:30PM PT
Runs for 22 weeks
Intensive I provides the conceptual foundations of Neufeld's approach. Participants are equipped to use the constructs of attachment, maturation and vulnerability to view children and their problems three-dimensionally.
* although students can take this course anytime on their own, this is a special opportunity to benefit from a guided learning experience with Neufeld Institute Faculty. Former and current registrants can enroll in this class for an additional $50 CAD only.
Scheduled Class Details:
📌 Course Start Date: September 26, 2025⌛ Duration: 22 weeks
🗓️ Fridays: 12:30PM - 1:30PM PT
🏷️ Tuition: $600 CAD per person
We invite your participation in this Scheduled Class offering of Neufeld Intensive I: Making Sense of Kids, an enriched learning experience guided by Karen Bollman.
Karen invites a Neufeld Institute faculty member into dialogue on the week’s lesson. Each brings a unique lens shaped by deep study with Dr. Gordon Neufeld, offering a rich tapestry of insight into the attachment-based developmental approach.
Scheduled Classes combine Dr. Neufeld’s video lectures and supplementary course material with live faculty-facilitated support sessions. These interactive weekly classes are designed to deepen your understanding of Dr. Neufeld's teachings. It is a unique opportunity to join our experienced faculty and other students online to ask questions, discuss key insights, and explore practical applications.
All of the classes are recorded. If you miss a class, you can keep pace with the group by viewing the recordings at your own convenience during the week.
Please note: you will receive access to the course one to two days before the start date.
Meet our experienced faculty member, who will support you in this course
Infant Development Consultant
Abbotsford, BC, Canada
Karen is ideally suited to anchor and coordinate this course. Absolutely passionate about the material, her unending curiosity together with her lived experience in the day-to-day support of families raising children with special needs, has led to a deep integration as well as mastery of this approach.
COURSE SUMMARY
The material in this course is organized around three powerful but hidden dynamics that are still relatively ignored in today's social sciences: attachment, maturation and vulnerability. These lenses are first teased apart for the purposes of mastery, and then re-integrated to make sense of both everyday behaviour and the most challenging problems. Neufeld's unique and comprehensive analysis of the three separate maturational processes render immaturity much more than just an intuitive insight. In fact, the construct of stuckness becomes a powerful explanatory principle for a plethora of presenting problems and puzzling behaviour.
For those who want to see for themselves and not just be told what to do, this course is absolutely transforming and empowering. When kids make sense to us, not only are we enabled to come alongside them, but the resulting dance is much more fulfilling for both.
This course is the first of the three Neufeld Intensives, serving as a portal to the Neufeld Intensive II – the Separation Complex. The Intensive One is also one of the prerequisites for the advanced course on Making Sense of Therapy and highly recommended to make the most of our play courses. It is also the anchor course in our foundational studies that opens the door to our advanced subscription program for ongoing support.
SUITABILITY/APPLICABILITY
Neufeld is known for his ability to speak to all audiences at the same time without dumbing down the concepts or diluting the constructs. Although aimed at the university-educated, no formal learning in the social sciences is required. Although focused on children and youth, the material applies to all ages and is applicable across all settings. This popular course consistently receives outstanding accolades from students and many return to reflect on the rich content. Besides parents and helping professionals, participants include educators, day-care workers, youth workers, family members, academics, policy-makers, and medical professionals.
SAMPLE TOPICS
- the role of attachment in personality and behaviour
- how attachment is meant to develop and what can go wrong
- the role of feelings in the three primary maturing processes
- the condition of being defended against vulnerability and the impact on functioning and behaviour
- how to recognize the signs of stuckness across a spectrum of manifestations
- the problem with using consequences and sanctions with stuck kids
- ways to soften defenses against vulnerability
- three core interventions that prime the maturing processes
- strategies for cultivating a context of connection with the immature
- developmentally friendly strategies for dealing with problems that result from stuckness
- the problems with, and alternatives to, separation-based discipline
- a three-pronged approach to effect deep and lasting change
COURSE OUTLINE
The course is structured into 20 sessions with each session including approximately one hour of instructional video from Dr. Neufeld.
- Session 1 - Distinctives of this Approach
The course begins with an overview of the main tenets, assumptions and distinctives of the attachment-based developmental approach that Dr. Neufeld has articulated. The three conceptual keys to making sense of children are introduced. - Session 2 - The Maturation Factor
Three maturing processes are responsible for moving our children to grow up. These growth processes are identified, together with the theories and theorists associated with each. The construct of stuckness is introduced as the most likely explanation for many learning and behaviour problems. The developmental approach is differentiated from the behavioural or learning approach. - Session 3 - The Emergent Process
If conditions are conducive, a child is moved to become increasingly more viable as a separate being. The emergent process is responsible for a host of wonderful characteristics including curiousity, independence, responsibility, a sense of agency, emergent play and much more. Reviewed are the main impediments to the emergent process, including our typical responses when children are missing the fruit of emergence. - Session 4 - The Adaptive Process
If all was unfolding as it should, children would become transformed when up against that which they cannot change. The fruit of adaptation includes resilience, recovery, resourcefulness and much more. The key to this basic growth process is uncovered and discussed, as well as what gets in the way. - Session 5 - Adaptation, Aggression and Discipline
Aggression happens when adaptation doesn’t. This insight into aggression fundamentally changes our response. Because conventional discipline assumes the ability to change when futility is encountered, it is rendered ineffective and even counterproductive when used with nonadaptive children. Alternative methods of discipline are proposed. - Session 6 - The Integrative Process
What moves a child to become civilized and considerate is the capacity to experience conflicting thoughts and feelings. This could be called Nature’s finishing school of maturation. The role of the prefrontal cortex and its development is reviewed. - Session 7 - The Tempering Effect
In this session, we take a closer look at how the integrative process leads to a mature temperament, including the capacity for courage, patience, work, morality, balance and much more. Also discussed is the role of the integrative process in closing the door to impulsive behaviour, including aggression. - Session 8 - The Vulnerability Factor
Every human brain is equipped to defend against a vulnerability too much to bear. The three basic mechanisms of defense are outlined. Also discussed are the factors that lead some children to be more vulnerable than others. The impact of defendedness on learning and behaviour is reviewed. - Session 9 - Vulnerability and Maturation
Emotion is the engine of maturation, but for the engine to work, a child must be capable of feeling his or her tender emotions. The problem with feeling is its vulnerability and therefore what is most likely to be defended against. The implications are reviewed and discussed. - Session 10 - The Attachment Factor
The most powerful factor in maturation is introduced, along with the key theorists and constructs that form the puzzle pieces of attachment theory. Nothing impacts a child more than facing separation. The separation complex is introduced as being at the core of most common childhood problems. - Session 11 - How Children are Meant to Attach
Dr. Neufeld introduces his signature six-stage model of how the capacity for relationship develops. Participants learn to recognize how children are primarily attaching. Also discussed is the impact of a child’s flight from vulnerability on attachment. - Session 12 - How Attachment Empowers
The context for raising children is their attachments to the adults responsible for them. This insight has the power to change the practice of parenting and education in today’s society. Attachment is the most powerful force in the universe but needs to be harnessed to do its work. The construct of counterwill is introduced, along with its implications for parenting and teaching. - Session 13 - The Alpha Dynamic
Attachment is not only hierarchical in nature but needs to be so in order to serve its purpose. An understanding of alpha instincts as well as the alpha complex is absolutely essential to making sense of children and to cultivating right relationship. The alpha complex has many manifestations and is at the core of some significant childhood problems, including the demanding child, the competitive child, and the bully. - Session 14 - Shyness and Detachment
We cannot truly make sense of children without an understanding of the polarization of attachment. Shyness is introduced as an attachment instinct meant to protect existing attachments. Defensive detachment is introduced as a powerful attachment defense that can be at the core of many troubling symptoms and syndromes. - Session 15 - Attachment and Maturation
A child’s primary attachments create the womb in which maturation is gestated. Rest and satiation are the keys to the fruitfulness of attachment. How to provide these conditions is the topic of this session. - Session 16 - Collecting our Children
Introduced is a three-pronged approach for working with stuck kids. Since stuck kids require a context of attachment within which to work, cultivating a working relationship should be our number one priority. We must begin by engaging a child’s attachment instincts. How to do this is the subject of this session. - Session 17 - Bridging and Matchmaking
Children won’t hold on to us unless we hold on to them. Maintaining a healthy working relationship involves bridging anything that could divide. Stuck kids aren’t usually receptive to forming relationships cold. Using existing attachments to beget the attachments a child needs, is key to matchmaking. - Session 18 - Compensating for Stuckness
Battling against the symptoms of stuckness is futile. Before we can get children unstuck, we must find a workaround for the developmental deficits and behavioural symptoms that exist. Six ways of doing this are presented and discussed. - Session 19 - Softening the Defenses
When children get their tender feelings back, attachments deepen and maturation unfolds rather spontaneously. Reversing defendedness should therefore be our ultimate yearning. This session focuses on natural ways to help make this happen. - Session 20 - Priming the Maturing Processes
The course concludes with three powerful catalysts for growth that can also double as effective substitutes for conventional discipline. These instruments of maturation are relatively easy to use and can bring deep and lasting results.
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Charity & Non-Profit Status
The Neufeld Institute is a registered Canadian charitable organization under the name Neufeld Institute Foundation and is also registered as a NPO in British Columbia. If you would like to make a contribution to us, please go to our donation page.
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